Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Oh NO he didn't....................

.........................Oh YES he did!!!! My hubby caught me staring and drooling at the Prismacolor colored pencils the other day and he grabbed them and walked them up to the cash register himself. He said ' If you won't do it, i'll do it'. So SHAZAM i have them!!!.........I haven't used them yet..........they are like gold to me for some reason.........well i guess it has something to do with the fact that they cost over a $1 a pencil........but i've heard so many good things about them. Like once i color with them i'll never go back to Crayola..........they come unsharpened , which i was kind of bummed about..........i'm gonna hate to see all that color go in the pencil sharpener...........Another reason i haven't started using them is because i started the peacock picture with Crayola so i don't want to switch in the middle.................. Its coming along..............I'm a little further along than this pic shows. I have the head done too . Its coming along nicely and fairly quickly.........i probably won't stumble until those two big feathers in the corner. I think i want to put some kind of pearlescence on them??? something shiny oh i don't know.......i'll roll it around in my head until i get there.........i'll probably do them last............. I have been walking every single day since we last spoke...........!!!.............I've added more stretching........some days i've walked twice in one day when i can get hubby to walk in the evenings..........I can never guarantee he will get out there after work so i can't wait on him so i've been going about midday and if he wants to go in the evening thats just money in the bank. :) Besides i go faster and farther than him so a walk with him i really can't use as daily exercise its just bonus material!
****News on the job front! Not necessarily good news but news...................Hubby got a phone call Monday! From a job in of all places.................Kentucky!!!..........He applied for it on a whim......on a day he was frustrated with CA, OR and WA...........and guess what? They called! He has an interview Thursday first thing in the morning...........This is so not the direction we want to go...........I just don't see myself spending the rest of my life in Kentucky. I see myself spending my days exploring the west coast.......the beaches.......the redwoods......the lakes......the hiking..... We haven't decided if we'll take it if offered. He still has over 20 referrals out there and over 100 applications out there.....things have been so slow i think we are kind of spooked about letting this one go........He also got a call from a job in Sacramento, CA to let him know there was a misprint on the job offer and it was only a temporary job and asked if he was still interested in an interview........well um.....NO! So hey things are moving this week and its only Tues! Keep the good thoughts coming. Who knows maybe one day soon i'll be telling you i'm on my way to Kentucky for better or worse!Hugs! deb

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Ho - hum...........

Things have been kind of slow around here..........i have no art to show you, no terribly goofy pictures...............so i've been procrastinating making a post. I've been working on some MailArt.........which i can't show you yet as it has not been received by the recipient. Thats why i'm just now adding some color to the peacock picture but nothing worth showing yet. Family members been sick...........hubby has been sick but remarkably i went for a walk in the chilly rain yesterday and i'm still not sick..........(knock on wood lol) Hubs took off from work yesterday and slept most of the day. He had everything from stuffed up head, runny nose, nausea......yeah you get the picture without getting too graphic...........I made the run to Walmart for emergency supplies.....Gatorade, chicken noodle soup.........jello........The nurse told him one thing i thought was odd.............to stay away from anything with red food coloring in it so in other words.....lemon/lime jello and Gatorade........hmmmm where have i been to not already know this, is this new???? So anyway hubs back at work...............Lysol spread around.........and so far I feel good........usually no matter how careful we are i usually end up getting at least some version of whatever cold or flu he catches. I think my immune system is a little better than his as i usually don't get it as bad as he does. I wonder if that has something to do with losing the weight and exercising???
Speaking of which.........its been a difficult week. A little lack of motivation going on here. You know when motivation is running high i wish i could bottle it and bring it out when motivation starts lagging...............i had trouble stringing days together this week. I don't mean i haven't exercised........but since i started a few weeks ago i've been pretty darn good stringing two and three days of walking together.......this week has been more like every other day. And the hill walk has still not happened......calves are still giving me trouble and i could tell you that was the reason but really its this sudden lack of motivation.............you know the calves are usually a sign that i'm over doing it too early.......... but except for the 'step fiasco' i have just been walking. I've added some distance recently and frequency , maybe thats it. But from the past i know once my calves start bothering me its hard to get them to stop, thats why i'm usually so careful to take it slow. And why i've really been kicking myself for those steps! So we'll just have to see...........i'm going to work on stretching them more.......i already do, as i stop a time or two during the walk to stretch them.........maybe i should go back and use the heat pad on them some more??.............
Before i go i wanted to tell you that hubs was found eligible and referred for a Supply Tech job with the FBI!! How cool is that??? Who knows if he'll get it but its cool to be considered. :) Hugs? Deb
PS....................have you moved your body today????? Put your big toe out the front door, let the sun shine on your face..........just take that first step.........

Friday, January 20, 2012

I remembered..............!!

................to scan a copy of the black and white line drawing before i start coloring it. This is sooo hard for me to do! Normally i just cannot wait to start adding color and any thought of scanning it in just flies out of my head. :) I'm really chomping at the bit to color this one because i actually have all the colors already picked out in my head. The only iffy part is the head because the rest of the feathers will follow along the colors i used for the boot design. I do have an update on the UGG boot contest........i did not win.......sniff......but i thought you might like to take a peek at the boot that did win here (that is if my link works). Since the boot was to be used to raise money for the Boys and Girls Club i thought the puzzle pieces she used were very appropriate. Ah well at least i entered instead of just talking about it like i usually do. You know i have found the most unique jewelry lately at Target of all places. This is the second piece i've purchased lately. The first being a silver owl locket. Its not often that i come across a piece of jewelry that screams 'Take me home! ' to me. Its been a good week exercise wise. Shins feel good after a couple icings but the calves still want to give me a little trouble. They are no longer knotted but they still feel a little tight. Lets see i walked the hill route Sat......took Sun off........walked Mon and Tues.........took Wed off......walked Thurs and i will walk today (Fri). Tomorrow Sat will be my first venture back to the hill route, that will tell just how well i've nipped this little fiasco in the bud. Eating........i get better with the eating everyday....making better choices.......weekends are still a struggle and i don't see that changing anytime soon. Although i do plan on cutting back a little more each weekend as the year progresses. Baby steps you know......you tend to think all these small changes won't make a difference but oh i KNOW they do. The small changes won't make me skinny tomorrow but in the long run they will.....Tell me is anyone else out there getting sick to death of Jennifer Hudson???? or is it just me????

Monday, January 16, 2012

Damage Control...........

..................no not from eating.........although i could probably use a little of that after the weekend too..............but no this is from a very stupid move on my part.........ya know just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you should.........sigh..........as you know i've gotten more consistent with my walking and started adding the hill route back in to my routine. The month of January has been all about curbing my eating , especially junk food and getting back into an active routine. Well i got it in my head that if i made an extra trip or two up and down the stairs leading to our apartment it would add a little something to the exercise level even if it does look a little silly to someone watching. LOL! Well i still think its a plausible idea but it was not very smart of me to decide to RUN up and down the stairs instead of just walking. Apparently my legs were not ready for that pounding. So for two days now i've been icing my shins and putting a heating pad on my knotted calves moaning my stupidity. I walked the hill route yesterday and halfway around i decided it may not have been a good idea as my shins hurt while doing it and my calves were really tight. But once you are halfway around you might as well continue.........well i won't be visiting the hill route the rest of the week....maybe Friday.......i will just walk the relatively flat roads around the neighborhood. I hoping i can nip this in the bud. The shins are feeling much better but the calves are still tight. God, my fitness level just went down the tube in a very short time..... Isnt' this book beautiful?? I'm about to finish my current journal and its so exciting to find a new one. It takes me about a year and a half to two years to finish one. So we spend alot of time together. I found this one at Michaels on sale for around $6. I thought it fitting since i 've had peacocks on the brain lately. :) Its been a while since i've given a job update..........i wish i had more news. Hubby was found eligible for a IT job GS13 for the Forestry Service, but apparently forestry is nothing to get excited about because they put the jobs out there, they take applications, they find you eligible and refer you to selecting officials and then they sit on it...........you call and inquire and they say they are on a hiring 'pause'.......check back after the first of the year..........still apparently 'on pause'.......sigh.............so the story is still the same..........many, many applications out there........found eligible and referred for many.......many........ but then they sit on them and do nothing............the one he had the interview for said they have until the end of January to make a decision BUT hubby is one of the finalists...............this is the one in Redding , CA. IT GS 9/11. The stress and strain of not knowing is truly weighing on us.............Maybe one day we'll look back on this time and laugh but it is so not fun now..................
The movie review list has been short of late............just nothing to make us go spend the money........We did go this last Friday to see something hubby wanted to see........'Contraband' with Mark Wahlberg.......not bad.........not great.....but not bad. Worth a matinee or a rental. Hubby is interested in seeing 'Haywire' with Michael Douglas and Antonio Banderas this coming weekend...........not my kind of movie either but we'll go..........the are also showing a new Underworld movie now THAT is my kind of movie but it says 3D and i won't go to 3D so we'll see if they offer it in Digital. Seen any good movies lately??? Hugs! deb

Friday, January 13, 2012

A Stirring..........

Well perhaps the week did not start out well but it ended with a BANG! :) Wed, Thurs and Fri check , check and check! Wed i even walked morning and evening and this morning(Fri) i dragged my little fanny out the door with hubby to get the truck so i could do the hill workout. But what i really want to tell you about, what i'm really kind of excited about if somewhat 'miffed'.......is a feeling i had while walking Thursday evening by myself...........a feeling ....a stirring in my soul, a certain feeling that i have not felt for quite some time. And then i felt it again today as i walked the hill route.............i felt....... ............a desire to RUN.........and i can describe it no other way than just a burning deep inside to run..........I'm as flabbergasted as you........i turned my back on it, i walked away.......i packed it away and put it on a shelf.........but two days in a row now i had to hold myself back from taking that first running step.........why?.......because i'm no where near ready.........and my knees this evening after walking those hills are letting me know that not running yet is a prudent move. If i'm to even entertain the thought of running i need a good base. That is how i've been the most successful and managed to remain injury free. Besides i need to mull over this feeling for awhile yet.....make sure its the real thing not just a ghost. But i will tell you it put a smile on my face, that stirring in my soul.......it sure did.
I hope you like the sketch. Apparently after designing those boots ( final results of the contest come out Jan 17 i think) i still have peacocks on the brain. This is a design for a card. I think it might make a nice painting one day too. Hugs! deb

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Alienate.........

We finally got some snow!!!! It usually happens at least once a year that the Universe conspires to give us some of that magickal white stuff. The winter has been so mild and dry that i was beginning to wonder. I peeked out the door at 9pm and there was nothing so just before bed at 10pm i peeked one more time and 'POOF!' 2 inches had appeared falling silently in the dark. And if i was still a kid i would deem this 'perfect snow'. It was heavy and wet and about 4 inches deep by the time it was over......it was the kind that packed well and made great snowballs and snowmen and if i had a sled oh my we would fly. I managed to get hubby to put aside his worry of finding a job long enough to play in the snow with me at 10pm. But we were not alone.......no, no, no......seems everyone in the complex stepped outside......college kids throwing snowballs at each other.......people standing on their balconies taking pictures, one young man that passed as we strolled arm in arm said he had never seen snow before.......and the world stopped..... for just a minute in hushed silence and everything was perfect....... My diet and exercise has not been perfect since my last post......the threads of my willpower seem tantalizingly out of reach.......One moment i seem to have a firm grasp on them and the next they slip thru my fingers..........last week was excellent.....an auspicious beginning.......Sunday was a difficult day.......no special reason other than the fact i think i missed eating frivolously with my husband on the weekend and by Sunday evening just gave up the ghost and instead of just brushing it off and moving on i've been ruminating over it......sigh........Something this first week has shown me................... ..................when i changed my lifestyle back in 2008 and over the course of 2 years lost 80 pounds and became a runner............besides giving me my life back and my self esteem and my health, it did something else for me...............it alienated me from everyone around me..........and i had that distinct feeling again as i traversed all the obstacles in my path this past week. I was the only one juggling anything...... Everyone else i know just eats whatever they want, looks however they want , does not exercise how ever they want. Oh i'am perhaps admired for having the 'chutzpah' to do all this but i'am utterly alone in the attempt.......and it is very lonely on this path. And i think right now i'am balking against going back there. When i decided to just give up no matter how humiliating that was i also heaved a huge sigh of relief because suddenly i wasn't going against the grain anymore.Suddenly i fit in with everyone again.............So yeah this week is not starting out good........

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Everythings Going just Swimmingly......

...............now that i know the recipients have received their MailArt i can share it with you!! I told you before of my dilemma of finding people that like to send and receive mail and that i've found a few wonderful penpals......this is my first MailArt project with them. I thought it would be a great time to work on getting past my fear of paint. Since all my paint is packed away and i didn't want to buy a bunch more that will have to packed away when the time comes to move i decided to buy only the primary colors red, blue, yellow, and white and black oh and brown ....man that still seems like a lot but its not. Promise. I have TONS packed away. I cut pictures out of magazines and mixed paint like a mad scientist.............it was so much F U N!!! I even have some new ideas for the next time............ I like the mermaid but i adore these little fish. Painting the eyes in and giving them bubbles really gave them personality. There bodies are magazine clippings. I hope it makes them smile when they open their mailbox! :) I've been doing good with the changes i've made to my diet and exercise.........is it where it needs to be to weigh 172 pounds or less again?.........no........but i'm getting there. I know myself well enough from losing the last 80 pounds that MAJOR lifestyle changes do not stick. I can hang onto them for only about 2 weeks......every small change is a victory.........I got myself together at 'O' dark thirty yesterday morning to take my hubby to work and keep the truck so i could take myself to my favorite hill workout and made that happen, i've cut out alot of snacking, I had one tortilla chip at the Mexican Restaurant last night instead of helping to clean the bowl and i did not order something covered sauce and cheese.........so go me!!! My favorite thing to do at the end of a meal at this restaurant is to have two chocolate peppermint patties and i chose not to get them............hubby chimes in "Well i wasn't gonna buy them for you anyway".........what a 'cheeky' fellow. LOL! As soon as i hit publish on this post i'm headed out the door for a bike ride. 65 degree weather, sunny, almost no wind...........sounds like a perfect day to me to hop on the bike! Are you sure this is January?? One day at a time........one choice at a time.........I CAN turn this around..............Hugs! deb

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

It Doesn't Take Long.............

.............to lose fitness..............and your figure..............Here these bikes have sat for the last three months.........I've been on them maybe once or twice in that time but i couldn't make myself put them in the storage unit.......after all there was always tomorrow.........if you catch my drift.......sigh..........the one in the back is hubby's its practically brand new......its seen the open road maybe three times..............the one in front however is mine, with the little pack on the front to hold cell phone, keys , a snack.........
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I walked with hubby yesterday and we pushed both bikes down to the gas station to pump up the tires and Oh --My--- Goodness hubby road his bike around and around the parking lot of an 'out of business' furniture store for a good 15 min. Around and around we went in circles , its a wonder we didn't run into each other. It was SO much fun. (I'm sure he'll be groaning about it for a week. lol)
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Today I dug out my helmet, gloves, ipod, geared up.......felt like Rambo putting all his gear on....lugged my bike down the steps from my second story apartment........road my bike exactly one mile, up and down hills (more hills in the city then out what up with that..?) and about died............You know perception can be so screwy......has it really been a year since since i've worked out seriously???.........6months since i gave up trying to watch what i ate........? I can remember being at my lowest weight and (172ish) and the scale wasn't moving and i felt like such a failure cause i couldn't make-- it-- move and i felt so fat and when i look at those pictures now i think 'woman what were you thinking'??? I would give my right arm to be back there again. And i think of my fitness level.......i felt stuck there too.....i felt all my runs were status quo and i wasn't making any progress......same way with the bike riding.........but after that bike ride today........
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I'm gonna learn to happy where i'am at...........whatever stage of weightloss or fitness level because i can continue to try to make it better AND if you give up , it can always get worse.......

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Its a New Year.................

..............and first and foremost its time to talk about making some changes....My first year off of work has been a colossal failure in the weightloss/exercise/lifestyle change department.... Everyone told me maintaining was the hard part and i just brushed it off. And to be honest what happened is i let the loneliness wear me down. I know that sounds crazy but when you are the only one in your circle of family and friends that gives a darn about their health its a lonely path to walk. Everyone else is eating what they want and doing what they want without the worry of fitting in exercise......and then i did the worse thing i could do i stopped talking about to you all.....i shut you out.......The only thing good to come from it is that i've learned and relearned a few things about myself....Once a couch potato , always a couch potato ,you do not just automatically change your natural tendencies...its you making the decision every day to fight against those natural tendencies....i lost big time....i quit fighting against my love of chocolate and icecream and chinese food......i fought the good fight then laid down my sword and gave up....it all became too hard.... I quit posting pictures and talking about diet/exercise on my blog and that really was the beginning of the end....no one held me accountable, hubby i'm sure was glad i didn't grumble about food anymore or fitting in my exercise....my weight doesn't really matter to hubby which to some extent i'am grateful for.
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I just know that i'am not happy.........this is not where i want to be....and now i find myself having to do it all over again..........have i slid all the way back??? no.....not quite that far but if i don't do something i will.....I know i'am at rock bottom again in both the diet and exercise.And i know one of the first steps is stating my intentions on my blog. Your weightloss and exercise demons don't just go away because you think you've defeated them they are there waiting for a weak moment....waiting for you to let your guard down, waiting for the thought to cross your mind that you can just live like a normal person . Eat what you want not have to lift a finger in exercise when in reality thats a very small portion of the population.I'm not sure i have the strength or willpower to do it all over again., especially with my life still in transition with trying to move to CA.......
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But i'm tired of not fitting in my jeans, I'm tired of the humiliation of having to buy larger jeans.......i've gone from a size 14 at my lowest to a size 18 right now. I don't know my weight as the scale is packed away ......lets just say ....not good...So we are going to have to judge this by dropping jean sizes.....which is fine by me cause even after all this i still don't want to go back to the scale. As apprehensive as i am about posting this i still feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.....no more secrets......So there will be more talk of weight loss on the blog, more exercise and more struggles....Still the artwork....still the trials of trying to move to CA, of living in an apartment..........If your not hearing about weightloss occasionally please, PLEASE speak up, ask me...you won't be a bother you'll be helping! Right now on TV they are showing the Reebok..cross fit games. I tried to attach a video link here for you i hope it works I find it so motivating maybe you will too. Last time i lost weight i concentrated on walking and running. I hope to progress to running again after i've lost a few pounds with walking. Hopefully a little running by spring if all goes well. But i've always been interested in overall fitness. So i want to include body weight exercises and weights too. Whew there you have it the 2012 plan. I hope you'll come along!
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Thank you all so much who took the time to vote for my boot. I stand at 30 votes at the moment. The highest voted boots are up in the 400 vote range........ah well...... UGG could still pick my boot as they reserve the right to pick their fav boot as the winner. So who knows! Hugs! deb